FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
dude. I can hear the air.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
