the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
