im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
