you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
