so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
