I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
