is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
