Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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