why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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