I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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