Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
