So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
