So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
