so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
