I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
