You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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