best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
