She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
