When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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