He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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