blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
