thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
