that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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