vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
