went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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