What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize