i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
