mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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