best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
