Swine flu. Run for my life!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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