Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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