dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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