Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
