Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
