We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
