Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
