Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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