he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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