i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
