I met the friendliest cop last night
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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