They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
