What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
