u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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