You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
