Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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