I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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