Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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