yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
