We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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