Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
