Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
