I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
