Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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