So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
