Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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