the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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