just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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