talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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