you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
