We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
