So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
