i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
