I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My balls are so social today.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
