Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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