He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize