i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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