yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize