Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
