suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
