If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
